Classy, Sassy & Stone Cold Broke | Cocktails On A Budget

To be quite honest, I retain a very loose definition on what constitutes a cocktail because I consider mixing anything together to be a cocktail. The Summer of 2015 saw the creation of “The Hannah” : White wine, Vodka and Raspberry cordial (I know). The New Years of 2016 saw the birth of “Hannah’s Surprise”: Vodka, Lime Cordial, Orange Cordial and Coke (Surprisingly not that bad.)

As you know, at the age of twenty something, paying 10.95 for a cosmopolitan is not at the top of our list of priorities. This is especially true when all you have left in the stocks is a mouldy aubergine, chicken soup and a bag of porridge.

So I have created a definitive list of cheap and most certainly cheerful cocktails that will keep you going until payday.


The Hulk:

Ingredients: Green Vit Hit, Diet 7UP and Vodka.

Not only are you getting your vitamins for the week in the Vit Hit, but you will also be transported to a tropical island regardless of your shabby surroundings. Mix two parts vodka to one part 7UP and one part Vit Hit. Delicious, cheap and it glows.


Ingredients: Club Orange or Fanta and any type of dark rum.

Do not get Tesco Value rum and think it will be okay, it won’t. Those few extra euros will save your life. Tastes like an ice lolly and if you’re a sugar maniac, this will do the trick.


Coconut Clouds 

Ingredients: Malibu & Milk

Very simple and very delicious. The milk lines your stomach and offers your malnourished body some calcium. You’re less likely to act like a pirate too if you mix with something sensible.

An Answer to a Cheap Mojiito

Ingredients: Dark rum, Mojito flavoured 7UP and mint leaves. (Frosted sugar if you’re feeling real fancy.)

Mojiitos are so so so amazing but they cost half of a week’s shopping in most places. With a few little tweaks, it’s possible to recreate the greatness.


The “My Card Is Going To Be Declined Soon.”

Ingredients: Jack Slattery’s & Orange cordial

I had never heard of Jack Slatterys until I moved up to the Big Smoke and I have to say it really is something. In Cork, we have John Kepplers which is like champagne in comparison to this can of nasty. But you know, certain circumstances must allow.

Few slices of lemon and crushed ice and you will feel like a glamour puss despite the budget. Enjoy and drink sensibly. Kettle black you say?

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