Week Two: Will we go to the farm lads?

You’re here, you’ve landed, how exciting? Are you loving it? Is it sunny? Out for cans flat out, are you? 

Yes and no.

  • It is exciting.
  • We are loving it.
  • It’s colder than we expected.
  • There’s moderate to fair can consumption occurring. 

Earlier today, we checked our bank accounts and nearly had a stroke but we’re still breathing. Don’t panic.

“Will we go to the farm lads?” has become a half joking, half serious question of the week. All of the houses that we have been lusting over, from afar in the safety of the Emerald Isle, will only become available to us once we have jobs. Employers, surprisingly, also like to see that you have a permanent place to sleep, weird, I know. 

Let’s not be too glum, this is week two after all, there is plenty of time for the dream gaff and the hopefully lovely employment. We’re just in the middle of the waiting game at the moment, and it feels like some sort of purgatory in which you really want to go and sit on St. Kilda beach all day finding yourself, but you know you only have six days left in the air bnb and you need to set up some viewings. Did I mention in a state of constant stress is a hobby of mine?! 

There’s a mix of statements on experience coming in from my fellow Irish men and women: 

“My mate got a job and a house within HALF AN HOUR of landing.”

“My mate’s mate’s sister’s friend’s cousin worked in the mines and now they’re a millionaire.”

“I had an interview set up before I left.”

“I have been here since November, no luck yet.”

“Just get on to recruiters.”

“Don’t stress yet.”

“Will we go to the farm, lads?

Life On The Farm: Instagram Vs. Reality

This is getting dark, let’s talk about something else. 

Here are my first impressions of Melbourne. 

She’s stunning

Oh she is STUNNING. You have the busy CBD which is bustling with culture and then some gorge neighbourhoods that remind me that I need to start watching Offspring again. My favourite hoods so far are Chapel Street, Prahan and Balaclava. Stunning street art, even better coffee and plenty of opportunities for a happy hour or three.

She’s spensy 

She’s pricy. If you want ONE, just ONE poached egg with some sourdough, halloumi and a delicate lick of beetroot hummus, expect to be flaking out thirty dollars, but do rest happy in the knowledge that your meal is going to be divine because the Ozzies are big of fresh, local organic produce and my skin is already thanking me for it. 

Gin is spensy, this fact cuts me deep and ciggys average at 30-42 dollars so just give up while you’re ahead and don’t pretend you’re just a social smoker because you’re NOT, OKAY?! Anyway I bought a vape and I’m going to quit again, I can feel it, really, I can. 

She’s outdoorsy 

There are people outside enjoying the great outdoors at all hours of the day and night which means there is always a bit of a buzz going on, I know it’s easier out here when it’s constantly kind of warm but it does make me realize how much time I was spending in-doors at home, tied to my electronics and/or laundry folding. 

She’s nippy enough

I was expecting Home and Away weather throughout the entire experience but look we’re coming up to winter. Did I just pack two jumpers? Yes, yes I did. Do I regret that life decesion? Yes, yes I do. 

She homes very relaxed people

Everyone is so relaxed, I can’t fully put it into words or explain how but there’s a very different atmosphere in comparison to Dublin. It might be related to the fact that Ozzies seem to love a cheeky glass of wine, regardless of what day of the week it is or it may be connected to getting more Vitamin D from that sweet sun. Whatever it may be, I have yet to see someone in a rush or scowling, and that’s always a positive. 

So far, the experience has been a good one.

The rose of this week was a boat trip that involved prosecco and seeing the city from the water.

The thorn was the dishwasher of our appartement  leaking into our bedroom and soaking the carpet, the bedroom being very hot on waking and believing that I had entered an alternative universe in which I live in a compost bin.

It can only really get better from here.

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