Sometimes, even though you love someone more than carbs, and boy do I love carbs, you might have a different idea of what you want a year to look like.
2020 has been that year of gentle disagreement, between my fella and I. 2020 to date has been the year of moving, shaking for me, and not moving and shaking for the boy.
After spending a lifetime of saying “Jesus I would never do long distance” – I find myself doing long distance.
I write this after a FaceTime in which I wanted nothing more than to climb through the phone and give my squeeze a squeeze.
I’m not going to say long distance is easy because it’s not. It’s challenging, it’s frustrating but by god does it make you feel the love a lot more.
Before moving, I never thought I would try long distance. I was scared that:
– The boy might cease fancying me
– I might cease fancying the boy
– Maybe we would realise neither of us fancied each-other and we had just become a habit to one another
Most of all I was worried that we would find it too difficult to strike affection and connection when it’s through a screen and it’s one person’s morning and another’s evening.
It’s been 10 weeks since I did a little sobbing goodbye on his cheek on the side of a windy bypass waiting for my aircoach and in that time I have come to realize that when you love someone more than carbs, and even better, they make it easier to love them more than carbs, it just works.
I have come to realize that love takes on different forms and it’s very possible to love someone even when you don’t have:
– The ability to give them a kiss and a cuddle
– Friday night drinks
– Saturday night movies
– Sunday night takeaways
– A hand to hold on the walk back from the Luas
– A chest to fall asleep on
– A body to whisper “I love you” to right before you fall asleep
While there’s a lot of things we don’t know about the future, one of the things I’m most looking forward to is seeing my boy, so I thought I would dedicate this article to him and to love and to all of the other things I love and look forward to.
1. Morning commutes
How much have we all taken a morning commute for granted? Cold fresh mornings with a hot cup of black coffee and your podcast of choice in your ear. I will never complain about a morning commute again. They are bliss! Give me back those steps! Give me back that fresh air!
2. The Friday feeling
That first sip of a gin and tonic on a Friday. Is there anything better? You’ve been working your áras off all week and then boom it’s Friday. You go to work looking stunning, the group chat is lit, the anticipation is high. You’re genuinely saying words like “Friyay!” – Pure and utter euphoria.
3. Going to the gym
I love running but I miss hopping on a stationary machine and watching my vloggers and reading my horoscope. Give me back the hip abductor, give me back the elliptical, spinning bikes with those tiny tiny seats that are totally unrealistic for any human? LET ME SIT ON IT, I HATE THOSE BIKES BUT SUDDENLY ALL I WANT TO DO IS GO SPINNING.
4. Awkward moments
I’ve realized that 90% of my life is made up of awkward moments because in their absence the only goss I have for my friends is 1. I put on a face mask 2. I cooked loads of food 3. I went for a run 4. Did you read that article? I’ll send you the link. My content is going out of commission without awkward moments and how socially inept I can often be.
5. Going anywhere
I love anywhere, everywhere. I’ll never cancel plans or say I’m too tired again. Name a place and a time, I’m there! (Just not mass, “the match” or garden centres)
6. The cinema
My favourite place. I miss you sis.
7. The club
When this is all over I’m going to move into “the club”, with a tent. Tuesday at 11am? I’m in the club. Wednesday at 4pm, girl I am in THE CLUB. Friday at 10pm, we’re all probably in the club. Burn my collar bone with your cigarette, spill your vodka and raz down my top, hell, stand on my toes in your stupid stilettos!
I know that 3 of these items have involved drinking, I’m 25, don’t @ me. I am so so so excited for prinks. The anticipation, the laying out of the makeup, the turning up of the tunes, the badly mixed prinks themselves, the rush when the taxi is outside. How thrilling it is to imagine a world when we can have prinks again, love heart eyes emoji.
I can’t wait for hugs, the squeeze, the lil sway, the rub on the back. I am starved of affection and I am extremely pumped for a hug.
Things I’m grateful for this week:
1. Kate’s brownies and banana bread
2. Bad reality TV to help you forget it all (Too Hot To Handle)
3. Sunday papers to make you remember it all (The Australian)
7. Purple shampoo
8. Frozen raspberries
9. Black out blinds