Week: Time is a construct, who’s counting?

Oh, it has been a hot minute! 

It’s been a hot minute because how many times can you say you don’t have any news, you’re tired, have brain fog and your mood is generally resembling a bag of cats. I can’t remember a non-locked down world. I no longer wear denim, my hair looks like a bag of rats, my eyebrows are two forehead beards, I don’t even know if I’m arsed about nightclubs anymore. We might be entering existential crisis territory here. (What’s new)

Lockdown 2.0 is worse than lockdown 1.0. That’s the long and short of it. Good vibes and grateful lists are on a hiatus and have been replaced with general rage and random sobs, but listen, no amount of sulking is going to fix the current issue. I will have to get over my sulk soon enough but over the last few weeks, I have had very little to say other than “It’s mad, isn’t it” and no one needs to read that on a weekly basis.

So any news? No, no news – I did find a list I wrote the day before my birthday. I totally forgot about it until now but I think it’s funny so I’ll leave it here for the #memories. 

Here are 26 things I have learned in 26 years: 

1. Letting your eyebrows take their own natural shape will serve you

2. Never, ever, cut your own fringe

3. Fake confidence until it arrives and one day you wake up and realize that you are THAT BITCH 

4. When three things go wrong, something generally goes right

5. Being popular doesn’t make you happy

6. Being skinny doesn’t make you happy 

7. Buy the shoes

8. Eat the cake

9. Sometimes people let you down but sometimes you let people down, that’s what makes us all human

10. Typos are a cruel part of your career and they will never cease to stimulate an eye twitch 

11. The good ones like you just the way you are

12. Be nice to the waitress

13. Be nice to the customer service representative 

14. It’s more fun to just be yourself 

15. There’s no such thing as a failed relationship

16. If it takes more than 3 sentences to explain via email, just call

17. Don’t bleach your hair

18. Don’t pierce your septum 

19. It’s okay for things not to be amazing all of the time

20. Holding grudges doesn’t solve the problem 

21. If someone says/does something dodgy, speak up

22. Vodka and raz is not a drink 

23. Running is cool

24. Cigarettes are not cool, a good skincare regime is very cool

25. Don’t make any plans because a pandemic might cancel all of them – learning to go with the flow will offer endless headspace

26. Time is a construct, you’re doing just fine 

I have been spending my quiet period not smoking, cooking vegan treats and training for a marathon, and being very smug about all of those things and mentioning them as much as possible.

If you would like to know more about how to give up smokes, cook some sexy vegan dinners or run in general – I am endeavouring to flesh out those sections because I would have liked to learn more about how to do all of these three things from an accessible, relatable person and I think I am both of those things, i.e. I am not good enough at any of those things to be intimidating. 

The weekly blog is back. SHE BACK! I will ensure that it is updated every week and if there is no news, I will make news or I’ll just say it’s mad but with different adjectives. Peace and love, thank you for reading my rambles, I appreciate it a lot xxx 

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